Mar 30, 2014 'CRACK! CRACK!' the wood sang-she was definitely not out to tickle my fancy this time around! I can read her moods by the connection she makes on my butt cheeks and this mood read like 'red hot ANGER!' 'CRACK! WHACK!' the rain of fire continued as I found myself bucking like a rodeo horse. (smack!) Easy baby!'. If you whack, crack, still love your Diamondbacks, but would rather stay away from Chase Field, we present today a virtual way of cheering on our statewide baseball team. The Anheuser-Busch Brewery Experience 'Taste of Home Base' virtual beer tasting will be held from 5 to 6 p.m. CST this Thursday, August 6, to kick off the Arizona Diamondbacks baseball season.
So seventy is the new fifty is the new thirty is the new embryo. Heels and Hose have been replaced with skinny jeans and Uggs for casual mom fashion, and for the most part I say Hallelu-JAH.
I like feeling campus-chic when I smack my forehead going through the tube slide–no fear of mussing my skirts or running my stockings. While little plastic eggs are fun, I prefer to let little Christian children search for them on Easter, rather than pry one open every morning for my Leggs.
But the biggest trend in mom fashion for our generation is also an inadvertent one…
The Crack Facktor.
Our butts are falling out all over the place. Dragon quest 8 map. Big or little, light or dark, we are falling all over ourselves–even while we attempt playground-appropriate. Sure, we nipped that panty line catastrophe in the butt, but now we are plumbing ourselves all over the parkbench.
Half-water Juice Box? Check. Whole Grain Goldfish? Check? Double buttcheeks? Err… Check.
After showing a different side of ourselves to Grandpa during that ill-fated round of horseshoe toss 'I'll get those, Grandpa! Got ‘em! WHOOPSIE DAISEY' most of us learned the lesson of the low-rise. You try to compromise, but even the midrise and a long tank top fail on occasion–like every time I wrestle with a snow boot or bend to retrieve an errant mitten.
Pardon me, but did you hear that? The collective GASP of our ancestral matriarchs?
Yep, they're a-spinnin' round and round. Don't you hear their cry?
WHERE ARE THE GRANNY PANTS
WHERE ARE THE MOM JEANS
COVER UP YOUR TRAMP STAMP
KEEP BUTTS UNSEEN! Turbo 264 hd activation key. (Repeat and alternate with KEEP YOUNG MINDS CLEAN)
How long will we keep this up?
I'm imagining the inevitable remake of 'Golden Girls' called 'Molded Girls.' References to 'flab' or 'sag' will need to be written out. Instead of silk bathrobes and turbans, the new cast will sport 'GILF' shirts and yoga pants.
And my how we will miss the granny pant…
Dear Aunt Kay;
I'm writing you today sitting on a pillow for some reasons I will now relate. I stopped by a friend's house yesterday and well-he is something of a reprobate and we did toss down a few afternoon beers. I went home and the phone rang-it was 'la Jefa' (boss in Spanish) all right.
'You haven't BEEN DRINKING already have you?' she demanded. 'Well, uh, yeah…' 'YOU RASCAL!' (never been called that before!) 'You're getting the PADDLE and I don't think you are going to like it…' 'Yeah, yeah right sweety-look I'm really not in the mood and…' 'Click,' she hung up on me. I pushed the threat to the back of my mind and went online. A few hours later she pushed in the door. 'Into the bedroom NOW!' she barked (I do believe she has been talking to other gals at work who are into this). 'Look-I'm really not in the mood and…'
She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me across the house and into the bedroom. Next she pulled the wooden terror from the drawer and laid it across our official 'husband spanking chair.' In a fluid motion she then jacked my jeans and jockeys down below my knees and pulled me across her lap in a vise like grip.
'CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!' the wood sang-she was definitely not out to tickle my fancy this time around! I can read her moods by the connection she makes on my butt cheeks and this mood read like 'red hot ANGER!' 'CRACK! SMACK! WHACK!' the rain of fire continued as I found myself bucking like a rodeo horse.
'OW! (smack!) Easy baby!'
'Don't (pack!) baby me! (smack) Let's see (WHACK!) is this (Whack!) gets through your (Whack!) thick MAN Skull (Smack!)! NO… (WHACK!!) DRinking.(KERAACK!!) IN…(WHACKK!!) the after.(SNACKKK!) noon! (WHukAK!) Do you (SMACK!) hear me? (WAACK!)
She was laying it on heavier than ever before and I was doing the mystery dance all right – could not break free though what with her vise like hand pressing down the small of my back and my now deeply ingrained sense of obedience to her higher authority.
'I'm sorry, (CRACK!) IT won't (Crack!) OW! Happen AGAIN (CRACK) OW!' SHE has yet to get me blubbering but I believe I was close yesterday as I squirmed under the merciless wooden justice. 'The strap!' I gasped at one point, 'Can you please just use the strap?!'
'CRACK!! CRACKK!! CRACK!!' came the answer in a redoubled fury ('Holy Terror' is right!)
Whack Crack I Love My Diamondbacks Game
Serial bento 4.1.2 mac. For a while she rested her arm while calmly lecturing me on the importance of preserving my health. Then she resumed laying on the finishing swats with a fury that left me breathless and gasping.
So all you bad boys are there – take a lesson from me-don't do anything that will really piss your Disciplinary Wife off! You might get more than you bargained for! You can bet I won't be dropping over to my reprobate friend's any time soon! Bruised, welted and swollen, but wiser I guess.
Love to all you jefas out there;
Whack Crack I Love My Diamondbacks Video
Carl
